Wednesday 9 December 2015

Miracles We're Expecting Saint West to Perform

Kim and Kanye's son has the very special distinction of being a saint at birth – but to truly prove his sainthood, he must perform two miracles. Here, a few ideas for what they could be … 
An immediate, endless restock of Kylie's Lip Kit - Kylie Jenner almost didn't create a beauty line because she was worried no one would buy it. Now it's sold out, and though she's promising a restock by Christmas, if past sales are any indication, it's going to go quick. So if Saint West could guarantee lip kits for all, that would be a much-appreciated miracle. 
Finding the diamond earring that Kim lost in the ocean - Remember when Kim fell into the ocean on the Kardashian family trip to Bora Bora, losing her diamond earring and earning the quotable retort, "People are dying, Kim," in the process? If anyone could recover that long-lost earring, it's baby Saint. 
A Kanye West presidency in 2020 - Kanye talked a lot of talk in his MTV Video Vanguard Award acceptance speech – but the biggest claim he made? His vow to run for president in 2020. And while he may be skilled in many things – fashion design, rap and tweeting, to name a few – his political experience is next to none, meaning he'll need a miracle from his son Saint to cinch the White House. 
Keeping Mom & Dad in one place for more than a few months - Since before North was born, real estate aficionados Kim and Kanye have been in and out of momager Kris Jenner's house while their various properties arerenovated. A true miracle for this family of four? A permanent spot to call home. 
Stopping the fam from posting Insta selfies – just for one day - There are some things you can rely on in life: the sun will rise in the east, peanut butter and jelly will always be delicious and a member of the Kardashian/Jenner clan will post a selfie to Instagram on the daily. But what if, for 24 hours, those selfies stopped? It would be a miracle of such magnitude, only Saint West could take credit for it. 
Bringing the Todd Kraines joke back- You can't make it through an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashianswithout seeing one of the family's pranks (remember when Kim and Kourtney fed their family placenta?). But no joke was quite as well received as the infamous Todd Kraines prank, which involved Scott calling Kris Jenner, pretending to be family friend Todd Kraines. The joke was eventually revealed to the momager, but bringing it back with a new voice – the voice of Saint West, that is! – could trip her up once more. 
Getting Rob Kardashian out of hiding - If any member of the famous family is in need of a miracle, it's Rob, who hasn't been seen in public for about 18 months. But perhaps the arrival of his sister's new son will help Rob get through this tough time in his life. Saint is pulling for you, Rob!

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